Looking Forward

It's been a month since I left my job and I thought I'd post an update on my progress.

I am much happier since I left. It's not been without it's difficulties. I have good days and I have bad days. But the good does outweigh the bad on the whole.

Very soon I won't have any income, which is not good. I do have some savings that can tide me over for a while, so things aren't desperate. 

I've been constantly looking at jobs, but I'm not sure that jumping into another job is the answer at the moment, not a permanent one in any case. I don't want to have any sort of relapse and let anybody down.

At the moment, I don't know exactly what I'm going to do going forward, but all I do know is that I have to move forward into a different future.  I don't quite know what that looks like just yet although I do have a few ideas of a few things that I'd like to do.

I've reflected a lot on my recent working life and the conclusions I've come to are that it shouldn't have been so difficult or exhausting. It was a part-time job. I should have had time to relax and have a life outside of it, but somehow I found that I didn't. I've mainly put that down to the pressure that I put on myself.

Going forward, I'm not going to put myself in that position again, that would just be foolish.

For the moment, we're doing okay. Yes, I will have to cut my spending back to virtually nothing, but we have everything we need, much more than what we need if I'm honest. A bit of austerity in our household won't do us any harm. It will make us more resourceful and grateful for what we have.

The most important thing is that we have each other and some time to spend together and just enjoy our lives before things change again later this year when LB goes off to University.

I'm trying to use the experience to propel me towards something positive. I thought my job was positive, that I was doing someting positive in the world, until it turned out that it wasn't positive for me. Now I need to find something else that inspires me in a positive way. I'm sure I'll find it and I'll let you know as soon as I do.