Lockdown Reading Update

I've been doing quite a lot of reading during lockdown.  I usually spend at least 30 minutes, often longer reading in bed in a morning. It's a lovely way to start the day gently.

 

I have to admit that I've mainly read non-fiction. I haven't read much fiction in a long time, but I can see a time when I will return to it, as my non-fiction bookshelf is virtually empty, containing 5 or 6 books, some of which I'm not really in the mood to read, and my fiction bookshelf holds at least 30+ unread books.

 

Lockdown has certainly been good for reading books that have been kicking around for a long time.  Some of them I've read and have struggled with, some I've loved reading, some I picked up and couldn't get into, so immediately put on the donate pile.  Life's too short to read something you really don't enjoy.

 

Currently, I'm reading a book by Eckhart Tolle called The New Earth. It's the second book of his that I've read in the last couple of weeks and they have both been sat on the shelf for a few years. In actual fact, I'm really enjoying them.  They are spiritual books about living in the present moment. He explains the concept really well. Reading them has made me realise how much time I've wasted letting my ego control me with it's demands for drama, stuff, acknowledgement, etc. etc.

 

He argues that it is our ego or unconscious self that makes us unhappy, always wanting more, needing acknowledgement/praise/approval/to be right and others to be wrong.  It drives most of human behaviour, more especially the negative behaviour that leads to suffering.

 

Tolle argues that we need to become more conscious and observe how our ego behaves and motivates us and by doing so we can lessen it's power and become more present in our everyday lives, which is all we ever actually have, the now.

 

I'm thoroughly enjoying his writing. It makes total sense to me, but putting it into practice is another matter entirely after years of my ego running riot and being in total control.

 

I can see, for example, how my ego has shaped the kind of manager I am at work and I'm finding the book useful to help me reflect on my work behaviours, which to be honest aren't always healthy or balanced. Covid has blown everything to the four winds workwise. Even when we go back, it will be like starting from scratch.  Footfall will be much reduced, people may have less money to spend, there are no tourists in Central London at the moment, or many people actually coming in to work.  It's a whole different landscape out there now and I need to be able to deal with that and not find myself feeling frustrated by it.

 

One positive for me from Covid, is that work targets for this financial year are no longer realistic in any shape or form.  To be honest, it's almost a relief, as our targets for this financial year were huge, due to having had a very successful year last year. In many ways, this is what drives me at work, I enjoy the challenge of meeting and surpassing them, but this year it is not going to happen and I will have to find new ways of enjoying my work, possibly ways that are more healthy for me. I'm hoping it will be a good thing.

 

That's not to say that I'm not going to do my best to make the most money for our charity that I can, but the high street is not the same place that we left behind 3 months ago and we all have to adapt to a new future. Maybe taking my ego out of the way that I manage could make me a much better manager and help us to get better results. It's something that I think I really need to work on when I get back there.