I've not felt like blogging for the past few days, mainly because I've been feeling a little irritated. Not by blogging or other bloggers, might I add, just other things going on in my life at the moment. I have to keep reminding myself not to dwell on the small petty things that other people say or do, that make you feel like you are somehow a failure or some sort of loser. Most of the time, I manage to navigate life not worrying about other peoples negativity, but occasionally I find myself dwelling on it and I can't quite get past it.
My current preoccupation seems to be a bit of an obsession with decluttering. Partly, the reason for this, was a recent comment made about my house. I don't know about anyone else, but I am a touch sensitive with regard to my hearth and home. I'm not ridiculously houseproud, miminalist (I wish), or even particularly precious about my home, as you probably know from reading some of my posts, but I do take umbrage when another person passes comment, in a not wholly positive way. Anyway, on the positive side, it's made me take a good long look and yes, there is quite a bit of clutter, and yes some of it can go, which has been my main focus in the last week or two. Another 4 boxes and bags were taken to the charity shop today and I've already started thinking about what can go in the next lot.
It doesn't help that I'm feeling a little stuck in a rut at the moment and don't quite feel like I'm making much progress in certain areas of my life, so I'm trying to consider where I need to make changes to improve things and bolster my sense of myself. I'm not actually getting too far in this regard, but one good thing is the extra pounds I put on whilst on holiday have finally shifted, so I'm happy about that, just a few more stone to go. Only joking. One would be good.
I read an interesting post on Frugal Queen's blog today which inspired me, about looking after oneself and putting yourself first, and I think that perhaps I'm not doing a good enough job of this lately and am too worried about pleasing others, who probably couldn't care less anyway. So, I think from now on, I'm going to do a bit more of the former and be a bit more discerning about the latter and see what happens.
Sorry to harp on to you guys about it, I guess we all have bad days, and that's what makes us human.
Sorry to read this. I have a friend whose house is very " cluttered " and I love it. She can clear a table & put on a lovely feast very quickly & create a warm atmosphere - rather than guests treading on egg shells all evening !
ReplyDeleteI would be terribly upset if I heard a comment about my home too.
Thanks Penny, for the sympathy, it is very much appreciated.
DeleteIt's not quite 'the hoarder next door' or any such thing, but it obviously upset someone's sensibilities enough to pass comment.
Hurtful comments can really get us down.
DeleteA friend once uttered; " you've got nothing on your plate " I guess she thought I had nothing to worry about... this was after years of gyne treatment, hysterectomy, son unable to sleep due to asthma which meant I couldn't sleep which resulted in fybryomyalgia.... husband overseas. No - nothing on my plate ! People can be so hurtful x
Came across this quote the other day - pretty much sums it up for me..
ReplyDelete“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches.”
― Dita Von Teese
Yes, I guess we all have different tastes, but my answer to this would be to say, if you don't like to eat a peach, don't cut into it.
DeleteHello Ann, and thanks for visiting me yesterday, always nice to 'see' a new face. One of the advantages I have found of getting older, is that you can be kinder to yourself. In my fifties I realised that for so much of my adult, married life I had put others first, that there had been too many times when I had been what was expected of me in my various roles in life. Now in my 60s I say stuff the lot of them! I am finally being me, those that have known me a long time love me no matter what, others I may come across in my life and who form a negative opinion of me.... tough. We all need to take/make time for ourselves, so enjoy yours. And unless the person who made the negative comment is someone whose opinion you highly value, someone who is very special or close to you, ignore them. Maybe they are jealous that they can't unwind enough to be comfortable living like you do.
ReplyDeleteHi Edwina, thank you for commenting. I think some of what you have said here has a strong resonance with this situation. Thank you for your kind words.
DeleteYes, it can be very upsetting. I used to be very disorganised, my house was stacked full of stuff and was generally a state. I knew this, but was stuck.
ReplyDeleteA stranger came round unexpectedly once and I had to let them in. He looked around at the mess and for the entire meeting he treated me as if I was stupid, explaining everything he said in very simple language etc. It was humiliating, but it was a spur to get me to the place I am now.
Hi, thanks for your kind words. It is strange the assumptions people make about you from looking around your home. I guess I can be as curious and nosy as the next person and like to see how other people live. I like to thin that I do try to draw the line though at not making derogatory comments about something so personal.
DeleteOne day my mother called me to let me know that my father was on his way to visit me. Then she paused....
ReplyDelete"Dad says that you have a very messy house and perhaps the next time I come down I should teach you how to clean."
My reply was "Thanks Mom, when is Dad arriving?"
I was told the next day at around supper time.
At this time we lived in a mobile home with three children and a cat. Storage was limited as well as space.
I started cleaning that night and into the next day making sure that the children picked up after themselves or played in their bedrooms. By the time my Dad arrived the house was spotless, supper was cooking and I was busy hemming a pair of pants.
As he walked in the door and looked around I said "Hello Dad. Is my house clean enough for you?" He said "Your Mom told you." I answered "Dad my children are clean and well dressed, the fridge is always spotless as well as the stove and oven. My floors are clean and the toilet bowl scrubbed. Don't ever say my home is messy again. You come to visit your grandchildren not criticize my housekeeping."
He never mentioned clutter or my piles of books, mending or the children's toys on the floor again.
But this could be the reason that I am so upset over the mess I allowed my sewing/craft room to become.
God bless
Hi Jackie, thank you for sharing your own experience. I admire you for challenging the criticism. Sometimes when we do this we feel a lot better.
DeleteI guess I'm a bit of the live and let live persuasion. I try not to make judgements about other people's lifestyles or choices and when others appear to do this to me I find it quite difficult to confront them and clear the air. It's definitely a skill I need to develop.