It's been a rough week and it isn't over yet. As the week has progressed, it's got tougher and tougher.
I had a couple of trying days at the CS. The manager had been off sick between Christmas and New Year and didn't get any of the things done that he wanted to, so when it reopened on Tuesday there was a lot that needed doing. It didn't help that I felt a bit of an emotional wreck due to the news about my friend. I think it had really started to hit home and made me a bit vulnerable.
I think I was in shock and a bit numb for the first few days and now I just feel so sad. I guess it's all part of the grieving process. We hadn't seen each other for a while, so I was initially a bit more detached, but through the week, as I started to think about her more, I got sadder and sadder. I'm looking forward to seeing my friends at the gym on Monday and talking to them about it, as they are probably feeling just the same.
A few other things hit the fan this week too. One involved issues concerning LB, who was struggling with going back to school due to friend problems, tests she didn't feel prepared for and other issues. I sat down with her after a tough day at the CS on Wednesday and we talked about things and are trying to find a way for her to move forward. I think I've let things slip over the last six months, getting so engrossed in the CS and haven't been paying enough attention to her needs. I got my wake up call and I'm trying to make amends and be a better parent.
On top of this (it never rains but pours), a serious family issue also reared it's head this week, which gave us some stress and a difficult decision. Not altogether a good start to the New Year so far, but I'm hoping that it will get better. We just need to dig in, keep our heads and ride it out, if at all possible.
On the plus side, I took down all of the Christmas decorations tonight. By the time they came down I decided that I liked my tree after all. It just needs a few new baubles to jazz it up a bit, but this shouldn't break the bank. Whilst putting everything away, I did a serious cull of all of my old glass baubles and decorations, putting many aside for donation. Sometimes you've just got to ring in some changes and have a good clear out. As a consequence, I've got all of our Christmas decorations condensed into one decorations bag, one wrapping paper bag and one wreath bag, for the first time in a good few years, so that was a positive.
I've also sorted out all of the donation pile in the spare room and it's a lot more organised and ready to go when I get the date of the next Give or Take. LB has been intermittently been adding to it. She's become more of a minimalist than me lately, which is good, as I wouldn't want her to inherit my hoarding tendencies.
Today, I've been to the gym, been out and about doing top up food shopping and errands, written a heartfelt sympathy letter to my friend's husband and sent it off, and as mentioned, done the 12th Night stuff , which is about enough for me for one day.
As I've done my two days at the CS for this week, tomorrow I have a free day at home to do with as I wish. I've just got a dog walk planned and then lots of laundry and ironing in an attempt to catch up after the holidays. I hope everyone is having a much better week and start to the year.