Lockdown Diary - W/E 27th February 2021

This week began with another litter picking dog walk. I wasn't really feeling it to be honest, as I had something on my mind that was troubling me, but went ahead anyway and was glad I did. Quite a few people thanked me on my way round which was nice of them, as it was unexpected. The thing that was bothering me resolved itself later in the day too.

When I got home I caught up on a bit of blogging. I'm having trouble uploading photos on my current Chromebook and have to go back to my old net book to upload them onto posts, which always takes a while. Hence, why there haven't been too many posts of late. (Apart from the fact that I haven't been doing much at all)

I stepped out into the garden this week and was happy to see the Mimosa tree that I'd bought during the first Lockdown last year, was flowering and looked very cheerful. It perked me up to see it. Considering it's an Australian plant, it has overwintered well outside here in the UK. It smells divine too.

I've been suffering from a bit of anxiety lately. Not sure why, it seems to have come out of the left field and struck me all of a sudden. I've had a couple of panic attacks as a result and the odd sleepless night. There's been a few tears this week too. I don't think a particularly grim and cynical book that I'd been reading this last week helped all that much either. Thankfully, I finished it on Monday morning and picked something  less dark for the next read.

To try to get me into a better head space, I started listening to some music that I used to like as a teenager whilst doing my exercises on Monday morning. It felt lovely to listen to those old familiar lyrics that I used to love in my late teens. I'm talking Billy Bragg amongst others, I used to love his music. Not to everyone's taste, but I always admired his acoustic renditions. 

Later, on the dog walk, I got listening to and watching Blondie on You Tube, such an iconic blast from a slightly earlier past. Brought back all sorts of memories. It's so easy to forget what you were like as a teenager, when the whole of your life was ahead of you. How exciting life was then, when everything seemed possible.

Maybe I'm having a bit of a mid life crisis or maybe I just need to get back to work.

Anyway, back to real life, my Approved Food order came on Monday. It contained the odd treat, such as a nostalgic couple of bottles of dandelion and burdock. I used to love this as a child and haven't drunk it in years. I'll enjoy having that this week at least. Mostly, it was things we use regularly or treats and food for the dog. 

On Monday afternoon, I decided to make a start on a new peg bag. I'd made one in Lockdown 1 out of a vinyl fabric, but it had split soon after the pegs were put in it, so I went back to the idea of a fabric one which had proved stronger in the past. I couldn't find my old pattern, so I had to draft a new one from the existing peg bag. I chose a bright red spotted fabric and cut out the various pieces, ready to sew together another day.

Tuesday, was another stay at home day. By now we had the new road map out of Lockdown, but it still seems like ages until things will get back to any sort of normality. 

I spent the afternoon watching a couple of inspiring movies on Netflix. One, Pieces of a Woman, was difficult to watch because of the subject matter, but it was good. The second Penguin Bloom, an Australian movie based on real life events, was equally good. Watching these gave me an excuse to shed a little tear here and there, which I think I needed.

On Wednesday, I messaged a volunteer and had a bit of a catch up which felt good. I also received an email telling me that I am due back at work on 6th April, providing things continue to improve. This is now just 5 weeks away, so I felt a bit better knowing this.

Later, in the afternoon, I headed out to do a couple of errands, including some banking that I couldn't do the week before. I finally found a bank where I could pay in the change, which was good. It was all LB's tips from her job at the pub and they had been sat around for over a year. As she subsequently lost her job due to Covid and is now without an income, she was glad that the money had been banked and could be transferred to her account, giving her a bit of spending money when she goes back to college in a couple of weeks.

On Thursday, I had another stay at home day. I spent most of the afternoon in bed reading a book from cover to cover. I've now read 8 so far this month.

Friday was payday, so I decided to head out to do a big food shop. The day was lovely and sunny (although still very cold) and felt so springlike, it made such a difference to my mood. I'd decided during a very sleepless Thursday night, to try to pick myself up and just get on with things. I've spent two weeks now indulging my negative feelings and I need to put on my big girl pants and just get on with life and be more positive.

Whilst I was out doing the food shopping, I dropped into B&Q to get some more chalk paint for a new renovation project I had in mind. That is going to be my focus this weekend and next week, as well as completing a few other small tasks that I've avoided since Christmas. 

In other news, I bought myself a new hi viz cycle helmet this week. It arrived on Friday and I'm very pleased with it. I've wanted more hi viz gear for a while and this combined with the jacket I bought a few weeks ago should hopefully ensure that I'm seen by drivers on my way to work, when I do eventually go back.

Here's a picture:

The duck tapes I'd ordered to decorate my hula hoop also came this week too, here's a picture of them:

So that's another job I can get on with next week at some point. I'll show you the finished product when I do eventually get around to it, so long as I don't make a total hash of it.

Finally, Saturday came around and I spent most of it pottering around watering plants, doing laundry and other small jobs. As it was another lovely sunny day, I spent the afternoon in the back garden, tidying up the winter detritus that had gathered around the decking. It looked a lot tidier when I'd finished which was very satisfying. I think just getting outside was very therapeutic. As a consequence, a roller coaster of a week ended on a very positive note and hopefully next week will be a much better one.