2019 - A Year of Self-Care

First of all, Happy New Year to everyone reading.  2018 was a good year for us.  I stayed in paid employment, we lived within our means for the most part and I continued to save money both for LB's future and our own. There were many things to be grateful for, our health and well being and few real problems to contend with. I'm hoping 2019 won't be too different in many ways.

2019 is, however, going to different in one respect, if  I can help it, because I've decided that it is going to be a year of self care for me. On visiting the doctor's surgery on Xmas Eve, I was told that at 52, I have the heart health of a 64 year old. This, as you can imagine, was a bit of a wake up call.  I knew I had a cholesterol problem and had put on 4kg this year, but when you're told your heart is twelve years older than it actually is, it is a bit of a depressing thought. Having already, before attending the appointment, decided that I needed to take more care of myself in 2019, the nurse's words cemented the idea for me.

So, this New Year, I'm going to start taking care of myself.  I've lost count of the number of gym classes I've missed because of work this year and the unhealthy treats I've indulged in after a busy day at work. I'm taking the view that it's time to get a better work/life balance. I'm often so exhausted on my days off, that I overeat and can't seem to summon up the energy to do much at home.

I think the time has come to do a bit less at work.  I know that sounds wrong, but I give 125% most days and it's really not sustainable.  I need to take time out from work to have my lunch (preferably a salad), leave at a reasonable hour (i.e no more than 30 minutes after the shop has closed for the day) and just generally stop overdoing it. I've also developed a kind of repetitive strain type injury to my right forearm, which I think has been caused by humping around bags and bags of donations, and steaming thousands of items of clothing over the last few months.

2018 was a challenging year for the shop for a number of reasons: lack of volunteers, the remaining hours of my post not being recruited for most of the year, loss of footfall due to the heat this summer and Brexit amongst other reasons, all of which took their toll on our figures, which I took to heart and stressed over. As a consequence, I developed several very bad habits: eating too much chocolate and too many bags of crisps, exercising less, not to mention drinking lager at the end of a busy day (this started in the heat of the summer and continued for the rest of the year), all as a treat to myself after a busy day at work, but all of which have led me to where I am this Christmas.

Taking a step back isn't easy, but I've got to do it.  For both myself and my family. If I don't, my body is going to make me and I don't want it to get to that.We now have another Deputy working the remaining 12 hours of my post and lots of interns lined up to work over the next few months, so this should help, but I've got to be disciplined about it too.  It's easy to get used to not leaving until after 7pm and getting home at 8.30pm, but I don't see other managers in other shops doing the same. They've obviously got more sense. I'm not helping anyone and certainly not helping myself by my behaviour at work. It's giving a false impression of the shop results too.

I'm back to work tomorrow, and hopefully, having time off this Christmas will have allowed me to re-program my work mind set and go back with more realistic expectations of myself, as well as break some of the bad habits that have become established over the last six months. I'll need to take it a day at a time and make a conscious effort to pace myself and resist my natural urge to dive in and give too much to the job, at the expense of the rest of my life. I'll let you know how I get on.