A Tough Week - W/E 9th August 2025 - Part One

This week, I was back at work on Sunday from 12 noon. It was another busy shift on a payday weekend, but one where a particular member of the team seemed to have an issue with me. I can't say too much at this point, but I came home feeling pretty de-motivated, as a consequence. It made me really reconsider whether I want to continue working there and in retail generally. It can be quite an aggressive workplace in many ways and I'm not altogether sure it aligns with my core values, but we all need to earn money somehow.

There have been so many changes in staff at work recently and the store doesn't have the same atmosphere. I'm sure it will settle down into it's own vibe eventually, but current indications are that it might not be one that I'm going to enjoy working in.  I also found out another member of staff may be leaving soon, to be replaced by someone I've had issues with in the past returning, so that isn't great either. This sounds like I'm difficult, but I'm really not. I keep my head down and just get on and do my job, but if people make a beeline for me, which they sometimes do, for whatever reason, it can be really unsettling. It's a pity, as most of the people I work with, I really like and get on well with.

Anyway, I was working again on Monday from 3pm and it was another super busy shift. A similar scenario ensued. It's starting to feel very personal and targeted, if I'm honest. Maybe I just need to seek them out privately and talk to them, but I'm not very good at confronting situations like this.  I managed to get through the shift without reacting, but the situation did make me feel very anxious and triggered, which is not a nice place to be. I was so grateful to get away and be off work for a couple of days, after a very stressful and long weekend of it.  Maybe I'm just too old for all this aggravation. (Literally!!) Life is way too short. I'm trying hard not to do anything rash though.

On Tuesday, I was so happy to wake up and not need to go to work. I had a bit of a lie in and then got ready and went out to the gym for a workout, after which I felt a lot better. I tried out a new machine in the gym, for assisted pull ups, which I haven't ever used before and it was quite fun. I was also watching one of the instructors teaching a small class of clients, which was interesting.

I have started to tentatively look for another job, but it's not that easy (at nearly 59) to get any job. Not every employer is happy to take on more mature workers. I know this from the last time I was job hunting. It took me 6 months of multiple job applications, before I was offered this job. Alternatively, I may consider trying to get a transfer to a different store closer to home, but it depends on whether they would be prepared to take me on.

Anyway, changing the subject, as I don't want to bore you, I decided to do another batch of jam making in the afternoon. It's the first chance I've had for a while and the freezer is full of berries (gooseberries and blackcurrants) to be processed, and I really needed to free up some space. I managed to make half of what was in there into jam and it made 3 jars, (two of them large) to keep us going. I also didn't burn my eye this time, as I remembered to put my glasses on.

There's still enough left in the freezer to make another batch and I'd also like to go out blackberry picking at some point. I've probably missed the best of them here, as they often ripen early especially after the hot weather we've been having. I see ripe ones on the bushes on the way to work, but I won't be picking them, as they are too exposed to traffic and fumes. I know some spots well away from traffic to pick from though.

Whilst the jam was cooking on the hob, I made time to sit in the garden with a cup of coffee and just enjoy my surroundings. I haven't had much chance to do this lately. I figured that if the worst comes to the worst and I do decide to leave my job, I'll have to get used to living much more frugally and on a much reduced income. I've done it before and know I can do it again. Maybe I've been way too spendthrift lately, on account of earning more money and it would do me good for a while. As a consequence of what's going on at work, I'm making sure to spend as little as possible this month, as my money may need to tide me over for a while in the near future.

I spent the rest of the afternoon catching up on reading everyone's recent blog posts. I was over a week behind. It was lovely to visit with you all and catch up on your news. I also bought an Xmas present for LB on eBay. It was something that she wanted that was vintage and didn't cost a lot. I figure that everything I do buy from now on needs to count and besides, there's no harm in getting Xmas ready early.